20 October 2014


It has been a tough two weeks for me, for a variety of reasons, and there are many plates on those sticks, which I am working to keep spinning so they don't come crashing down. (Have I used that analogy before?)

One of the things looming, a few days after the Marine Corps Marathon in fact, is another board for my DoD retirement and trying to get permanent retirement; previous posts on this are here and here. (The VA rejected all my claims and reduced my benefits in late September.) In conjunction, I have been having some more severe abdominal pain, which is ironically due to the munchkins getting bigger and not to anything I've been doing to keep healthy, i.e. running.  It's been affecting me mentally/emotionally probably more than it should, perhaps as it becomes more acute when I do things like sit at the computer for more than 20 minutes or when I move from sitting to standing or anytime I have to hold the Bubbaloo (which has been quite a bit this past week as he was sick with adenovirus).

There are a couple of other factors which have fed into my mental state being on the less-than-positive front and even the exercise has not released the tension to a calming level. I sometimes wonder why I feel that it's not "okay" to be angry, to want to just scream, and then I recall that it is perfectly fine to be so but it's all about channeling that negative energy away and not letting it affect you. I am going to be frank and say that I haven't done a stellar job of channeling. Maybe a funnel, but not a steady outflow channel.

I looked for something(s) to allow me to redirect, and haven't been quite successful there, either. And don't get me wrong, there are plenty of items on the 'To Do' list that require my attention, but a few of them serve as reminders of some of the things that set me off to begin with. Grrrr....

My goal for this week is to rewire and restart, turn my focus toward Sunday and slowly tackle the other items. Like Johnny Mercer said (and in this version Sam Cooke sings):

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